Tuesday, October 12, 2010

the way the dating game should be.

I've made an executive decision. All dating should be professional, and run like any efficient business. you are correct, from now on, I will be using an application/interview method. Imagine if you had your suitors fill out an application (with a current, color photo of themselves included) that answered all the necessary questions. Then, you could hold an interview to smooth over some ambiguous answers, or help you pick between those few that seem to be on equal ground

the positives? everything is positive.
the negatives? there are no negatives, except for the fact that this procedure completely destroys the sweet stage of getting to know someone when you first start dating and it eliminates the adorable awkwardness.

it would look something like this:

favorite color:
favorite animal:
do you like ketchup?
are you left handed?
do you think it is socially acceptable to dress up like elves and hunt for orcs in the wash?
my best trait?
your best trait?
return missionary? (if you are not, do not even bother submitting an application)*
worthy priesthood holder?*
temple recommend holder?*
do you like pancakes?
favorite food?
list of top ten talents?
what is your relationship like with your family?
do you like animals?
mayonnaise or miracle whip?
can you handle extreme mud football, wrestling, and cuddling?
do you like fart jokes?

of course this is just a sample. and a photo would need to be included, applications without photos will be discarded without review. Yes, I will be looking at your photo when you are under consideration. No ugly people are allowed to submit applications. lets face it, I have excellent bone structure, and we can't let that go to waste. also, eternity is a long time. I want to like what I'm looking at. shallow? yes. honest? yes. lovable? undecided.

your chances of being selected increase significantly if your picture captures you in a state of utter manliness. this is where the featured picture above comes into play. it is an example of a potential suitor picture. he is choking a bear with his man hands while simultaneously smiling and looking very hot.


  1. HAHAHAHAHA! i love you roomie. come home and blog. do not be at school any longer!

  2. Kylie! You know what would be genius? You and the Old Spice Guy. It's true. Two excellent bone structures, plenty of pictures of utter manliness, and can you just imagine how your conversations would sound? "This is the relationship your relationship could be like. Now we're on a giraffe."

  3. Well I would fill in an application but I cant submit it, and I'm sure we would run into that age old issue anyway. There are hawever, for you viewing pleasure, manly pictures on my facebook profile. I'll try to post more of them later.