Monday, December 13, 2010

A Silent Affair

this, for the most part will be textless. A blog about a silent dance party should be silent as well. although, I must interject my thoughts on occasion. behold, the greatness that occurred on December 3rd.

I was there. Can you see me in the crowd?

the party had ended within four minutes and the horde had more or less cleared out (probably rushing off to some ungodly final). yours truly was asked to give an interview. By interview, I thought they would ask my opinion and jot down a few well phrased quotes. NOPE. They definitely whipped out a nice camera. I always hate camera interviews, you never know where to look, the person asking the questions, the camera, the attractive body of flesh holding the camera.... its just so visually overwhelming. It makes it look like they interviewed a crazy with darting eyes, and therefore, makes you feel 27 different kinds of ridiculous. then they pull one of these on you....
They ask you a question, that is only loosely associated with the topic at hand and makes no sense.
"How do you think your finals will go now that you danced?"

hmmm.... I wish I had said what is stated above... instead I stammered on something along the lines of ".........g-g-ooood..?........." I told them I had a final to go to so they would leave me alone.... they asked me if I would dance on my way to my final... I, in my awkwardness, said yes... then I danced away to avoid further social embarrassment.

and that is what happened.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

"and thus began the academic apocalypse"

the academic apocalypse is upon us, dark are the days at hand. Many of us are prone to violent allergic reactions, including (but not limited to) uncontrollable eye leakage, sleep deprivation, malnutrition, academic based TRETS, and loss of basic knowledge of fundamental living principals~ such as verbal communication. Welcome to the age of wailing and gnashing teeth.

Every year, we each experience this horrible social and mental pandemic called... finals. It always begins the same way. I have included some figures so that you could see exactly what happens to the human condition in this horrible blight upon humanity.

the above picture depicts a brain that has not yet become infected. Notice the lack of inflammation and the lovely robust nature of the tissue. Now, look at the picture below. It is riddled with inflammation, and is prone to violent tremors. In addition, all the creative juices have flowed out of the brain along with basic facts of hygiene, spelling, formulas needed to be used to ward off finals, and knowledge of childhood memories. In fact, at this point, the inner child has died. Finals are like AIDS of the brain. Eventually it will kill its host through ridding it of all protection, primarily happiness and creativity.

After a short time period of this intensive stress on the brain, the brain implodes. The resulting host is left brainless and subject to a mediocre existence.