Sunday, March 28, 2010

yes, I am quite the dastardly character...

On numerous occasions I have been accused of being an overly dramatic character that oozes sarcasm and a cynicism that few can compare to; this allegation, however, is only ever formulated over my internet musings. I think my beloved, simple, misguided followers have confused this characteristic as being truth, when it is in fact an outpouring of my humor. When I post something dark and slightly comedic, it is not a cry for help, nor is it bespeaking of suicidal intentions (in other words, please stop telling on me to my mother, I know who you are... you accost me in the grocery store and tell me not to be so negative~ you just don't get my humor you simpleton [and yes, I'm banking on you not reading this, so if you are.... well.... I really don't care, I repeat. stop. telling. on. me.]) My humor can be explained no better than in the great words of Mel Brooks, "tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
A SECOND point would be, perhaps you read my postings and see over-dramatic things, when really, I am just extremely effective at communicating feelings. Why should you judge me because I'm better at expression than you, a robot devoid of human feeling. You know what they say, we all have our talents and I just have a way with words, whereas you have a way with being nosy, prying, and incredibly misguided.
THIRDLY, when has sarcasm been a sin? I would have been struck down my lightening ages ago if such a thing wer.....*ZAP! BOOM-shakaLAKA* haha just kidding ~ admit it though, you were on the edge of your seat, reading my every word, knowing that my end was eminent with 10,000 volts of pure white revenge. But again, you are misguided, and wrong. oh so very wrong. just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong. I can never be wrong, I got a wrongness immunization. Going back to my argument....
Methinks you also confuse sarcasm with superior wit. You just call my superior wit sarcasm because you have no way to combat my levels of intelligence, so you dub it with a term that has a negative connotation. You can call your toad a prince, but your toad's molecular integrity will never change into a man, with royal lineages and fortunes; just like my superior wit, can never be unjustly labeled as pure sarcasm (although I am rather fond of the utilization of this method of communication, I see it as the nice way of saying "A-duh. you are an idiot.") Yes, I'm aware the analogy does not really apply to this situation unless inversed, but I wanted to use it anyway, its just so delightful.
I would give you more points, but I know that people afflicted with wrongness suffer from brain implosions upon too much rightness. Well chaps, this has been a marvelous chat~ but I have a date with sleep and we are planning on doing lots of dreaming together, about rightness and how wonderful I am. Goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome, I am the first to comment EVER! I love you Kylie and this is an awesome post!